Hey you! Don't say Zip. It's trademarked.
I've forked ZIP Code
I call it LibreRealm
Read the RFC
It's only 800 pages
Of densely-packed content
Containing every nice-to-have and bell and whistle some rando on the internet thought would be cool


*fast forward 5 years*
Reddit news:

"LibreRealm parsers have security bugs"

"LibreRealm is turing-complete"

"Implementing a C++ compiler in CSS in LibreRealm"

"Lennart Porttering adds a LibreRealm parser into the SystemDinix Kernel"

"LibreRealm 5.0 released, deprecates entire previous standard and adds a new, optimized, idealized, 1,600-page RFC. Primary benefit: you can now use LibreRealm codes to identify parallel universe versions and realms currently affected by black hole time dilation. Also fictional universes are supported with an optional extension"

"The shortest LibreRealm code is 800,000 bytes and cannot be printed on an address label, so in 2029 we settled on chips attached to letters, which must be purchased from your local supermarket for $9.88 each"

"LibreRealm: what's the fossil fuel impact? New research suggests moving addresses to LibreRealm has singlehandedly tripled the global carbon footprint, as LibreRealm 6.0 releases and promises to keep codes "under 10 gigs""

"Man in critical condition after being crushed by LibreRealm." "I heard a knock on my door and stepped out to pick up the small amazon evnelope, then a dump truck backed up and just started dumping SD cards containing the address label onto my lawn, I tried to get back into my house but it was too late, i called for help but no one could hear me." "Firefighters were able to rescue the man, who doctors say will make a full recovery" "this is the third  case we've seen this week" "LibreRealm.org foundation declined to comment, but someone familiar with the matter told us in confidence that a LibreRealm-transmitted virus was responsible" "some of these librerealm codes generated by the virus are reaching 100 zettabytes"

"New form of life discovered within the global LibreRealm code network, could this be the singularity? How the lowly mail address label became the new dominant life form on planet Earth"

A Conversation I had With Someone...

I had a really weird deam

Phasmatis de Apparatus became a streamer and had 7 viewers

then someone hosted him and he got 250 viewers

then he got a 2,000,000 bit donation

then he morphed into a cat and scratched me

alos he looked exactly like his anime avatar

wtf that dream

If I ever get 2,000,000 bits uhhhh

Wait how much is that in USDs

1 bit = 1 penny

so $20,000

Right

So if I ever get 2,000,000 bits I’d be pretty happy with myself TBPFH

But if I got 2,000,000,000,000,000 bits

20 trillion dollars

Then I’d morph into a cat

You must have missed a few zeroes

well when you got the 2000000 bit donation

your anime avatar made a face

At 20e^42 bits I become an ocelot

A robot toaster ocelot

With electrical cords for hands

I feed off the power of the city’s electrical grid and maul anyone who discovers me doing it

At slightly more bits

Probably due to all the electricity I suck up as an ocelot

At only 20e^43 bits

I morph into three tigers

Each psychically connected to one of the top 3 twitch streamers at that given moment

(Person in Red) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfdEdE96En0

At 20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 bits I become a magical, sentient, microscopic engraving of a lion on some object, usually a pocketwatch worn by a member of the illuminati.

I couldn't tell if you were making a cuil joke or not

also I just remembered another dream I had a few months ago where I was going downtown (of some undetermined large city) to visit a museum, but the museum was actually a giant ATAT, and upon going inside (there was a spiral staircase wrapping around one of its legs) it was actually like an old castle on the inside filled with booby traps, and I was with my family but I lost my family and then I found some vegetables and then the dream ended

Cuil lol

Never heard of that until now

what you were typing sounded like a parody of cuil theory

good stuff

The next 896 mutant states I enter are pretty boring — and no one studies them much. They’re the ones activated within the 20x10^49 to 20x10^1023 range. In those states, I mutate into many strange and inexplicable things, including a lambert-shaded teapot, a portrait of dorians gray (an unwritten sequel to the classic novel, mined from the dying brain of the author by mind mites) and the universe itself. They are unstable and I always decay back into a cat within femtoseconds.

At 20x10^1024 bits I become the concept of the color blue. Where my physical form once stood lies a book titled ‘A Portrait of Durian Gray’. It tastes like Durians and Cuil Theory.

As the color blue, I infest the minds of all humans on earth who are capable of perceiving color. But since the concept of the color blue is just a mental placeholder for the perception thereof, no one notices that the concept if the color blue has been swapped out with me. That is, except for a few people who cached a copy of their old concept of the color blue in an alternate universe, and bring it back out to compare from time to time. This leads to the president being notified and a war on the color blue being declared.

The color blue is hunted to extinction, and soon I lose all power in this universe and decay into a cheesecake, which promptly decays into a cat.

This is a test

A test this is.

A link

Do you think I could be a YouTube video game personality? Be honest.

Hey everyone Phaz here with another The Phaz Show video so stay tuned for all the stuff that's in this video. Theme music starts playing, clips from my show zoom past Voiceover Announcer I hired for $0.25/word on fiver: Welcome to The Phaz Show were Phaz Phazboi tells you about wacky adventures in his life, things that happened to him, and more! Theme music continues playing as my logo, big 3D-rendered text that says "The Phaz Show slams into an imaginary background made from bricks and the text fractures a little, then a little animated Phaz comes out and welds it back together, gives a thumbs-up, and walks off, like this is some shitty Pizar intro from the 90s* Theme music keeps playing while more clips from the show play, and then everything fades out with the music. Total time into the video so far? 4 minutes and 30 seconds 2 seconds of blank blackness for no good reason Wacky music starts playing while a blooper from the show is displayed. It goes way too long, like 10 seconds in all. I say "cut" at the end of each one even though I'm literally the only person in the room Hey everyone, welcome back. Today we have all kinds of things to talk about, news, stuff that happened on my way to work, which you won't believe, but first I want to get some things out of the way>

Some people in the comments have been saying that I'm INTENTIONALLY starting beef with xxxCoolGamerDudexxx on the Cool Gamer Dude Show. That couldn't be further from the truth. 50 minutes of me talking about this supposed beef with xxxCoolGamerDudexxx Okay so now I have something else to get into, and that's wherein I have to talk about the direction of this channel. Some people say I should do gameplay commentary, play games, go do jumping jacks in my backyard and drink smoothies and become a fitness vlogger, change my gender and adopt children and become a mommy vlogger, and rest assured, I'm going to keep everyone happy and do all of those things. 30 more minutes of blathering on about "MUH DIRECTION OF THIS CHANNEL" that doesn't once mention my patreon, simply because I forgot, I totally wanted to mention it at least 5 times, I'll have to make myself another note... at this point I start reading mean tweets while footage of me playing overwatch plays in the background. Gotta keep people engaged, you know? Gotta have flashy things to go with your drama

Finally, mercifully, the video reaches the 15-minute mark and I realize that it's WAY TOO LONG and decide to wrap it up in Final Cut Pro. I hastily throw in an ad for my sponsor at random points in the video (my sponsor is Fukushima Daiichi Gaming Computers, and I'm repping their new Nuclear Meltdown-inspired computer case, which is designed to have excellent water-cooling features, unlike the reactors they used to produce)

I do my signature hand gesture (a wave combined with a thumbs-up combined with me bro-fisting an animated transformer that is 3d-rendered into the scene

Alright guys, that's it for this video, be sure to anally probe that LIKE button and the THUMBS-UP button and the RETWEET button and the HEART button and the PIN button and the POST TO MY TIMELINE button and the DONATE 0.01% OF MY AMAZON PURCHASES TO THIS VIDEO button and the BUY ME A BEER button and the PRINT UP A LITERAL PIN I CAN WEAR ON MY BACKPACK button and the CHANGE MY NAME TO THE TITLE OF THIS VIDEO SO EVERY TIME YOU FILL IN YOUR NAME, YOU'RE PROMOTING MY VIDEO button.

Coming soon

That does it, I'm marrying my PC! *Phasmatis storms off, laugh track plays*

It's Coming Out Day and so... I'd like to announce to you all that... me and my Gaming PC are getting married. No human has ever made me feel the way my Core i7 4.4Ghz 32GB 2200Mhz DDR4 dual GTX 1080 beast machine has. Sure, it's attractiveness may fade with time, but it'll happen a lot slower than most people (who start to become unbearable after about 1.5 seconds on a good day).

Trump vs Hillary vs Alien vs Predator vs Spock vs Octopus vs...

Some say The Trump created The Hillary to be the ultimate challenge, a predator that also serves as the ultimate big game quarry

Some say The Hillary was created as the only thing that could stop The Trump from hunting the universe itself to extinction

Yes this fits pretty well

Trump is a big game hunter who takes on challenges that give good sport, because he can

Hillary is the ultimate killing machine that has learned to mimic human speech