A Conversation I had With Someone...

I had a really weird deam

Phasmatis de Apparatus became a streamer and had 7 viewers

then someone hosted him and he got 250 viewers

then he got a 2,000,000 bit donation

then he morphed into a cat and scratched me

alos he looked exactly like his anime avatar

wtf that dream

If I ever get 2,000,000 bits uhhhh

Wait how much is that in USDs

1 bit = 1 penny

so $20,000

Right

So if I ever get 2,000,000 bits I’d be pretty happy with myself TBPFH

But if I got 2,000,000,000,000,000 bits

20 trillion dollars

Then I’d morph into a cat

You must have missed a few zeroes

well when you got the 2000000 bit donation

your anime avatar made a face

At 20e^42 bits I become an ocelot

A robot toaster ocelot

With electrical cords for hands

I feed off the power of the city’s electrical grid and maul anyone who discovers me doing it

At slightly more bits

Probably due to all the electricity I suck up as an ocelot

At only 20e^43 bits

I morph into three tigers

Each psychically connected to one of the top 3 twitch streamers at that given moment

(Person in Red) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfdEdE96En0

At 20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 bits I become a magical, sentient, microscopic engraving of a lion on some object, usually a pocketwatch worn by a member of the illuminati.

I couldn't tell if you were making a cuil joke or not

also I just remembered another dream I had a few months ago where I was going downtown (of some undetermined large city) to visit a museum, but the museum was actually a giant ATAT, and upon going inside (there was a spiral staircase wrapping around one of its legs) it was actually like an old castle on the inside filled with booby traps, and I was with my family but I lost my family and then I found some vegetables and then the dream ended

Cuil lol

Never heard of that until now

what you were typing sounded like a parody of cuil theory

good stuff

The next 896 mutant states I enter are pretty boring — and no one studies them much. They’re the ones activated within the 20x10^49 to 20x10^1023 range. In those states, I mutate into many strange and inexplicable things, including a lambert-shaded teapot, a portrait of dorians gray (an unwritten sequel to the classic novel, mined from the dying brain of the author by mind mites) and the universe itself. They are unstable and I always decay back into a cat within femtoseconds.

At 20x10^1024 bits I become the concept of the color blue. Where my physical form once stood lies a book titled ‘A Portrait of Durian Gray’. It tastes like Durians and Cuil Theory.

As the color blue, I infest the minds of all humans on earth who are capable of perceiving color. But since the concept of the color blue is just a mental placeholder for the perception thereof, no one notices that the concept if the color blue has been swapped out with me. That is, except for a few people who cached a copy of their old concept of the color blue in an alternate universe, and bring it back out to compare from time to time. This leads to the president being notified and a war on the color blue being declared.

The color blue is hunted to extinction, and soon I lose all power in this universe and decay into a cheesecake, which promptly decays into a cat.

This is a test

A test this is.

A link

Do you think I could be a YouTube video game personality? Be honest.

Hey everyone Phaz here with another The Phaz Show video so stay tuned for all the stuff that's in this video. Theme music starts playing, clips from my show zoom past Voiceover Announcer I hired for $0.25/word on fiver: Welcome to The Phaz Show were Phaz Phazboi tells you about wacky adventures in his life, things that happened to him, and more! Theme music continues playing as my logo, big 3D-rendered text that says "The Phaz Show slams into an imaginary background made from bricks and the text fractures a little, then a little animated Phaz comes out and welds it back together, gives a thumbs-up, and walks off, like this is some shitty Pizar intro from the 90s* Theme music keeps playing while more clips from the show play, and then everything fades out with the music. Total time into the video so far? 4 minutes and 30 seconds 2 seconds of blank blackness for no good reason Wacky music starts playing while a blooper from the show is displayed. It goes way too long, like 10 seconds in all. I say "cut" at the end of each one even though I'm literally the only person in the room Hey everyone, welcome back. Today we have all kinds of things to talk about, news, stuff that happened on my way to work, which you won't believe, but first I want to get some things out of the way>

Some people in the comments have been saying that I'm INTENTIONALLY starting beef with xxxCoolGamerDudexxx on the Cool Gamer Dude Show. That couldn't be further from the truth. 50 minutes of me talking about this supposed beef with xxxCoolGamerDudexxx Okay so now I have something else to get into, and that's wherein I have to talk about the direction of this channel. Some people say I should do gameplay commentary, play games, go do jumping jacks in my backyard and drink smoothies and become a fitness vlogger, change my gender and adopt children and become a mommy vlogger, and rest assured, I'm going to keep everyone happy and do all of those things. 30 more minutes of blathering on about "MUH DIRECTION OF THIS CHANNEL" that doesn't once mention my patreon, simply because I forgot, I totally wanted to mention it at least 5 times, I'll have to make myself another note... at this point I start reading mean tweets while footage of me playing overwatch plays in the background. Gotta keep people engaged, you know? Gotta have flashy things to go with your drama

Finally, mercifully, the video reaches the 15-minute mark and I realize that it's WAY TOO LONG and decide to wrap it up in Final Cut Pro. I hastily throw in an ad for my sponsor at random points in the video (my sponsor is Fukushima Daiichi Gaming Computers, and I'm repping their new Nuclear Meltdown-inspired computer case, which is designed to have excellent water-cooling features, unlike the reactors they used to produce)

I do my signature hand gesture (a wave combined with a thumbs-up combined with me bro-fisting an animated transformer that is 3d-rendered into the scene

Alright guys, that's it for this video, be sure to anally probe that LIKE button and the THUMBS-UP button and the RETWEET button and the HEART button and the PIN button and the POST TO MY TIMELINE button and the DONATE 0.01% OF MY AMAZON PURCHASES TO THIS VIDEO button and the BUY ME A BEER button and the PRINT UP A LITERAL PIN I CAN WEAR ON MY BACKPACK button and the CHANGE MY NAME TO THE TITLE OF THIS VIDEO SO EVERY TIME YOU FILL IN YOUR NAME, YOU'RE PROMOTING MY VIDEO button.

Coming soon